Thursday, 29 March 2007

I need sleep!!

I'm feeling confused today. Probably through lack of sleep.
The last few days have been glorious weather -wise.....I felt that this fact ought to lift my spirits. I wanted to have my spirits lifted.... instead I've felt muggy and in I've been slammed into a brick wall. To make matters worse the council have been out cutting the grass verges. This has only compounded my frustration in not being able to get out into my garden. I love gardening....I used to spend hours out there. I'm no expert...I don't know the names of a lot of the plants.....I don't know what sort of soil I have. I just put things in where I think they ought to go and trust to good luck. Most of the time things work out OK. Now it seems as if it is becoming a chore, and I don't want that to happen. I want to continue to enjoy it. I've gone over and over in my mind how I could make my garden easier to manage. The solution evades me at the moment. Whatever solution I think of will probably mean spending money that I just don't have. Perhaps I need to let this one go for the moment. I'm just going round and round in circles trying to think about it.
Exhaustion is getting to me now. I want to sleep, but the continuous buzzing in my ears is driving me crazy. Mild tinnitus is something I've always had but it has increased over the last 2 years. It's not so noticeable during the day when I can mask it slightly with the radio or TV, but at night when everything is quiet it fills the whole room, denying me of the precious sleep I need. 4 nights now have been spent tossing and turning...eventually getting up and putting music on low trying to lull myself to a least a few hours. It's not working.

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