Doh!!!!!!.....

I'm feeling a little better than I was when I last posted. The beautiful weather we have had today, after the cold winds and snow showers over the weekend, have helped to lift my mood. I received 2 ATC's this morning from the Image-e-nation forum Easter swap. I'll show you them when I've scanned them. It would be better to photograph them but I am rubbish with a camera.

The appointment I thought I had on Monday..and notice I say thought..never happened. I don't know if I dreamed it or if it was one of those senior moments again. When I made the appointment last Thursday I'm sure the receptionist said "next Monday." Well I duly set the alarm early for Monday and was about to go to the appointment, and noticed that I had the appointment card in my coat pocket. It's a good job I checked it...the appointment isn't until next Monday..the 14th. I was so annoyed with myself. Such a simple thing and I had managed to get it wrong!

I've finally sorted out my favourites list on my computer. It's a little bit shorter, but the important thing is that it is in nice neat folders and I can find stuff!

All in all not a bad couple of days. Oh...and notice the new sig at the bottom of this post? Managed to get that after reading about it on one of my absolute favourite blogs..thank you Allison. She has some really easy to follow blog tips, even a computer numpty like me can follow them.

Down...

I'm feeling so down at the moment. It feels as if I have taken 1 step forward and 3 back. Wednesday I made a start on the garden and felt that I had achieved something. Thursday morning I went to the doctors hoping to sort out my painkillers. He decided that the night ones are too strong for me regarding the side effects and has told me to stop them and just rely on the lower strength. Not too happy about that as it is at night that I need most help with the pain. He then noticed that my hands and feet were very swollen. I told him that I had been gardening and that was probably the reason. Then he asked if there was any history of rheumatoid arthritis in the family. The answer to that is a big fat YES...my mother, 2 sisters and my eldest son. He has asked for a blood test to determine if I have got this condition....and I'm not happy. Firstly this is probably my biggest nightmare. I lived with, and saw the effects of this disease on my foster mother. She died when I was 20.....15 years on from the onset. My natural mother started with it when she was 48 and suffered for 20 years before dying of lung cancer. My older sister started with it at the same age as my mother (she is 15 months older than me) and is now crippled and a wheelchair user. My younger sister (14 months younger) has also suffered for the last 5 years. Eldest son has been diagnosed within the last 2 years. His was brought on early because he broke his back 19 years ago. Of course the blood test might show that I don't have it, but i think that is fairly unlikely. The second thing that is really annoying me is that my own GP knows about the family history. I have had regular blood tests over the last 3 years in trying to determine various symptoms of M.E. Why haven't I been tested before? Now I am wondering if my symptoms are due to M.E. or rheumatoid arthritis. I have the blood test on Monday morning and have to see the doctor in a week for the results. I got home feeling a bit upset only to get more bad news. The condition management course has been cancelled due to not enough people signed up for it. I have been offered a place at another venue but have turned it down due to the distance. It is in town and quite a walk from the bus stop. I don't think I would be able to manage the travelling and the time I would need to set off from home. It would make it a very long day. The next scheduled local venue is not until June.
After that bit of news I felt really down and tried to console myself with some more gardening. Just got the front to do now. I don't know when it will get done if we have the expected wintry weather that is forecast.

I'm organizing..

I've been de-cluttering. My favourites list on my computer is so long and disorganized that I've started to try and bring some order to it. It is taking longer than I thought. The list seems endless. Well you know how it is......you come across a site that looks as though it could be interesting and save it for a better browse later. Well later has finally come. Why I ever saved some of the sites is beyond me. I must have had a lot of "senior" moments. I'm about halfway through. It wouldn't take me so long if I didn't browse a few sites I had forgotten about. Quite a lot has been deleted though...I am being ruthless as far as the computer is concerned. I've also had the courage to delete some programmes on the computer....some have not and probably never would have been used.

With the spring weather that we are being blessed with at the moment I've also managed to get out into the garden. Only done part of it but I really enjoyed myself. My type of gardening is very hands on...I rarely wear gloves....which doesn't do my nails much good. I've cut the grass, turned over the soil in the flower beds..much to the delight of the local Blackbirds and Robin, re potted the mint and moved a pot that contains dwarf daffodils and a pole for the bird feeders. I can see the plants now. I'm hoping that the wintry weather that has been forecast for the weekend doesn't happen and that I can get a bit more done over the next few days.
I've an appointment with my GP in the morning to see if I can try and get my painkillers sorted.
The strong ones I have for the night time do work except for the side effects of a massive hangover in the morning.....and I don't even drink alcohol....wouldn't mind so much if I did. It's like going to a party and not having any fun!

I've made a start...

It's late but I've managed to make a start on the list to my favourite sites. There will be more...when I find them.... I'm off to bed now, it's been a very tiring day.

Summertime...

It's officially British summertime..well it's still spring really. The clocks have gone forward so the nights are getting much lighter now. It will probably take me a couple of weeks to adjust. Today has been glorious weather wise. I've been to son and DIL's as usual and now I'm tired. I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow... a bit too busy I think. Housing office in the morning to take in proofs of income for housing benefit...again...then up to the post office to pay some bills, shopping to do, and then I have an appointment to see my advisor at the DWP. This will be the fourth appointment so only 2 more to go. Phew!..tires me out just thinking about it. There was a time when that schedule would have been a breeze.....not now though. Tuesday will probably see me exhausted.

I've been trying to add a list on here for some of my favourite crafting blogs. It's not playing nice though. It could be the site or..more likely... my computer. I'm too tired tonight to try and sort it. It's really beginning to annoy me now. Help is on the way though. My son has got himself a new laptop so he is going to sort out some more memory for me from his old PC. That will save me a few pennies....yay!! I've decided I need to get an external hard drive as well. Partly for safety, I couldn't bear to lose all the crafting stuff I have stored on here if it should crash, and that has happened to me before, and partly to stop my 2 youngest complaining about all "the junk" I have. Junk!..it's not junk, it's essential! They just don't understand. Will have to try and save for that now.

I'm cold....

The cold wet weather is still with us. I thought it had changed this morning when I went out. It was bright, sunny and quite mild. It soon turned cold with driving rain....needless to say I got soaked through and I haven't been able to get warm since. An early night with a hot water bottle for me tonight I think.
It hasn't been all doom and gloom though. The postman delivered a parcel. I love getting parcels....much better than bills! As expected it contained my absolutely essential crafting goodies that I ordered from the Imag-e-nation shop. Just need to make a card now so that I can use some of the gorgeous lilac ribbon! (5 one metre lengths for £1)

At long last I managed to get myself organized and did a couple of parchment pieces. I'm rather pleased with my efforts but I do realize that I need lots more practise. I am determined to try and hone my skills in this area of my crafting. It can only add to my enjoyment of this particular craft.

The first one is white work. I thought it looked fairly easy to do, which it is, except I didn't take into account the amount of cutting out needed!...and there are a couple of small errors, but as long as you don't look too closely they are hardly noticeable.

(Pattern by Sue McGuirk)

The second, very pink one, was going fine until I made a total pigs ear of the grid work..hence the reason for the small sentiment and ribbon..it hides the resulting mistake fairly well. I didn't want to end up binning yet another piece. Think I did quite well with embossing the flowers and leaves though and the whole card does stand up!

(Pattern by Josephine Davidson)

The best laid plans....

I spoke too soon. The weather is cold, wet and windy...snow in places but not here..yet. Thursday's shopping went well and I ended up spending some money on craft goodies. Well when a shop has border punches that normally retail at around the £7 mark for 99p you just have to buy it don't you? There has been some talk about the brand of punch on the forum..some have not been happy with the way they perform, but I had a little play when I got home and there doesn't seem to be a problem. Bought a small corner punch for the same price and some absolutely gorgeous glitter card....6 sheets of A4 size for 59p. I also came home with a new toaster. Mine gave up the ghost a few weeks ago, so eldest son and DIL bought me one as a belated mother's day present. I went on the Imag-e-nation forum shop site and ordered a few more absolutely essential crafting items....DST (double sided tape) silicone....twice as much and half the price that I can get at my local craft shop...foam pads and some lilac ribbon, you can never have too much ribbon..and all free postage!
The garden is blooming.....the grape Hyacinth is beautiful, the daffodils are putting on a real show this year. The wind has blown some of them down so I have cut those and put them in a vase for the house. I might as well get some enjoyment out of them and they really brighten the place up.
I didn't get much sleep last night and I have felt totally c***p all day with a muggy head. My plans to concentrate on some parchment craft have gone pear shaped. After I had washed the pots and tidied round I wasn't in much of a state to do anything else. On top of all this my computer is playing up, I say my computer but it may not be the case. Internet explorer keeps coming up saying it can't display the page so I have to keep refreshing...gggrrrrrrr.....computers!...when they are behaving they are wonderful but a nightmare when not!

Halfway....

Halfway through the week and so far things are going OK. The weather is holding out so far. It's sunny but cold. The forecast is for wintry conditions over the Easter weekend. I've managed to get my 2 ATC's done for the forum and they will be in the post tomorrow. I haven't yet got any further with the parchment craft but hopefully I shall be able to spend some time on Friday. I'm going shopping tomorrow with son and DIL so I will have to see how I feel after that. Last Sunday saw me going to son and DIL's for lunch. I haven't been for the last couple of months due to them having their kitchen and bathroom refurbished by the council. They have been living out of their lounge during this time. The kitchen looks lovely now that it's done but take a closer look and there are lots of things that need tweaking. Door handles and socket switches not straight, different level skirting boards, painted walls need a second coat....little things....but annoying.
I need to make an appointment with the doctor's but I can't see me getting an appointment until late next week as it is the Easter weekend and they will be closed the Friday and Monday. The same goes for the CAB....ah well..I suppose I will get it sorted.
I had a phone call this week from the lady who is taking the condition management course. It was just to inform me that she is going away but will be sending out a letter confirming the details. The course starts on the Friday the 11th April. I'm looking forward to it but am a little nervous at the same time.

Budget

I've had quite a busy week. Last Saturday I went for my IB medical and was told that I would receive the results in about 10 days....I got the decision within 3 days, and I still qualify for IB. Received a decision from the DLA saying that their original decision stands...no surprise there...so now it means getting in touch with the CAB about an appeal. I have finally received the housing benefit form and filled it in....just keeping my fingers crossed that this one doesn't "get lost in the post."

This week saw the first budget by the new chancellor Mr. Darling. A lot in it that won't affect me. I don't drive, drink or smoke. Child benefit goes up for the first child...good for families..children are so expensive. Pensioners are to see an increase in the winter fuel payment..great..many pensioners fear the high bills in winter. But what about people like me? Single....no dependant children.....under pensionable age ...and disabled...nothing. If we are lucky we get a £10 pound bonus at Christmas. Just the fact that we will have to prove that we are unable to work. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't that why we have to have medicals at least every 2 years? The news that housing and council tax benefit rules are to be changed so that families will be better off if in work is good....but how will that affect the disabled. Does it mean that we will have this benefit reduced because we are unable to work? It's bad enough that the benefit we do receive is means tested without taking the little that we do get away.

The beginning of the week saw me not doing much as 3 trips into town drained what energy I have. It has taken me 3 days to catch up with the housework. Just keeping the house reasonably tidy has become a real chore. At least it's done now so hopefully I can try and spend a little time doing some parchment craft. It's something I am trying to learn but it is time consuming, especially for a beginner like me. I also want to try and make some time to participate in a ATC swap on a craft forum I belong to. For the uninitiated ATC stands for artist's trading cards. They are swapped or given (RAK...random act of kindness) but never sold. They are a good way to show your work to others and/or try out new techniques.

The medication has at last started to kick in. I find that I don't need as many painkillers during the day and the night time ones practically knock me out. My sleep is still poor quality but it does seem better to be able to actually get to sleep almost straight away than lying awake tossing and turning for hours on end. I have to see the doctor again as the stronger painkillers are not on repeat prescription and I have to go and find out the results of the biopsy I had last week. I don't anticipate that anything untoward was found as I'm sure the hospital or doctors surgery would have been in touch with me by now.

Biopsy..

It's been a crazy few days. The weekend was fairly relaxing...but very cold. We've had gale force winds and snow in some parts. Got a few lovely cards and some chocolates for Mothering Sunday...I object to the commercialism and tell my kids not to spend. It is nice to receive cards though.

Monday was a wasted trip, as far as I'm concerned to my advisor at the DWP. All she had to say really was that she would be sending me a breakdown of what I could be earning if I was able to return to work. I already know this, and it is a bit depressing when you are unable to work to see in black and white how much better off you would be.

Tuesday was the day at the hospital's endoscopy department for the camera and biopsy on my stomach. As it was an afternoon appointment I couldn't have anything to eat or drink after 8am, so that meant me having to be up early to make sure that I had some breakfast. I managed to get lost in the hospital grounds..it is a massive place. They were short staffed so I wasn't seen until an hour and a half after my appointment time. The procedure took all of 5 minutes..and they said that there was some inflammation and they had taken a biopsy to see if I had the Helibactor infection. Don't these people read other doctor's notes? The reason I was sent for this was because I have been tested and was shown to be negative. Was told that I could have a small drink of water an hour later. Well I was feeling so hydrated that I made myself a cup of tea as soon as I got home!.....the hospital is only a 10 minute bus ride away.

Felt ok for the first couple of hours and then the pure exhaustion hit me so I decided to go to bed for a couple of hours...which turned out to be about 5 hours of drifting in and out of sleep. Got up and went back to bed at about 4.30 in the morning. I still didn't get much sleep though and got up at abut 9.30. Have had a fairly lazy day and tomorrow I am off to town to meet my friend for a "ladies wot lunch" day. I had to cancel this a couple of weeks ago as I wasn't feeling too well but I am definitely going this time. I will try and call into the benefit office to pick up the housing benefit form that they have supposed to have sent me 3 times ......yes....it still hasn't turned up. What are the odds on it turning up tomorrow when I have left the house?